Why should writers pay extra for car insurance?

A guest post from Paul Dornan:

Imagine this highly realistic scenario.

You are screenwriter and you drive to the set of a film you’ve written. On set you get talking to Robert DeNiro and Scarlett Johansson. The day ends and, because you're such great chums, you offer to run them back to the Dorchester in the battered 12- year-old Golf your mum gave you. An offer which they, despite having a top of the range limo on stand-by, accept with delight. You tootle off down the road and then kill them by driving into Woody Allen coming up the wrong way with a bloke who's been up all night on a Casualty re-write.

What do you mean, that’s not very likely?!

Oh, all right then. It's total and utter nonsense. Of course it is. But it's total and utter nonsense that, apparently, is the reason insurance companies justify charging us screenwriters extra for our car insurance.

Yes, according to the men in grey suits who obviously know our world much better than we do, we are not lone wordsmiths who barely get looked at never mind befriended on a set but a wannabe taxi service to the stars. And therefore a prime target to get walloped for extra premiums.

I was told by an insurance broker that they justify it by referring to an apparently true case where this happened. Just the one case mind. In, wait for it… 1924. When some screenwriter gave an actor a lift in his Model T, skidded on an old florin and crashed, hurting the actor and costing the British insurance industry all of 12 shillings and sixpence.

For that, and that alone, we collectively all pay hundreds of thousands extra each year on our already exorbitant premiums. Which is where this stops being funny and starts being a serious scandal - especially in a hard-pressed and generally underpaid industry like ours.

We writers - and many actors too - get fleeced year in and year on the basis of a fantasy that has nothing to do with industry norms and practice whatsoever. Just get this in your heads Insurance People: writers do not give lifts to stars or even working actors. There's production transport to do that. Usually fleets of smart black Addison Lee cars, all complete with sat nav, an old copy of the Daily Mirror and their own, doubtless ludicrously expensive specialist insurance.

I say it's time we got together and took action against this collective levy against a wholly fictitious risk none of us actually pose. Or pose in no greater numbers than say the average teacher or sales executive. Or indeed Motor Insurance Actuary.

But before we do so let’s establish that this really is the case and it’s not just me this happens to. Have you been ripped off and charged more for your profession? Please contact the Guild office or post a comment here and let us know. Perhaps you are paying extra and you don’t even notice.

All I know is that when I say ‘screenwriter’ it never even passes unchallenged. Indeed when I looked the other day the Tesco motor insurance website specifically excludes Film and TV people. Assuming that it is the case for more than me – and anecdote would suggest it is – then I think it’s time we as a Guild and as a profession took action.

I propose teaming up with Film and TV craft unions and Equity, all of whom also suffer from this barkingly mad uplift, and create a day of action when, to draw attention to the matter, we really do drive film stars around for free just to get our money's worth.

Let’s call it Stars In Our Cars Day. The press would love it and with a bit of support and solidarity it could lead to some embarrassing questions being asked of the insurance industry. They might even re-consider their assumptions and save us all money. It may lead one of them to break off and offer insurance to us without this nonsense. Which we might well flock to. At the very least it will be a call to arms and start of a campaign.

Obviously if Stars In Cars Day does happen I’m baggsying either Penelope Cruz, Helen Mirren or for a laugh, Bob Hoskins. Assuming any of them need to run down to Waitrose for some bits.

“Writercab for you Mr De Niro…”